Zec's Thoughts

hollisframpton.org.uk

And so I am writing again my sentiments. I don’t know when will I be over this. Perhaps after graduation? I really don’t know. As I’ve said what’s really killing me is the fact that I am left behind. I can’t stop myself from thinking of what others are thinking about me. But I know I really should. Stop, I mean.

I just want to disappear right now. But I know I gotta be strong. Gonna be faking it to make it. After this storm, I know I will be a new man. I just really hope I would.

I don’t actually know if I am still making sense here. I just have this urgency to write. I don’t want to mind the coherence and grammatical status of this condition. I just wanted to siphon out my thoughts or else I’m gonna lose my sanity. And I really hope I would not.

My friend called me. And I am thankful to her.

I kinda feel that I’m becoming very needy already from my friend Bheck. Perhaps I should lie low with my texting and communicating with her. So I’m back with writing. Paper may not reply but I know it would be a perfect way to convey what’s on my mind.

So here we go again. I am not sure if I should be studying this summer vacation. I know this could be very helpful. But I am still very fresh from the failure that I am not motivated to study yet. Perhaps by late April or early May I should start studying Tax and MAS. I realy should.

Also I think I must re-establish my relationship with God. I need to. Looking back at everything I’ve accomplished so far, I am more focused when I am more prayerful. Yeah, highschool and early college was the self that I need to be again. I need to be that person again.

You know what? I think internet radically changed me. From that moment my father bought me laptop, my study habit had changed. So one thing I must change next sem is to distance myself from internet so that I couldn’t have my impulsivity take over me. I am thinking this summer as a warm up for this great change that I am planning. Damn! I really need to graduate this October already!

Walk strong. Stand strong. You can do this Zec. 

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Next sem I would do better in my photoshoot with the yearbook. I would communicate with the photographers more just to feed my vanity. I would study more.

By the way, I think I am just waiting for an invitation to be back with CSV again. I miss the times.

You know what my plans are for this summer vacation? To read a lot of novels. I just can’t commit to reading right now with this heavy feeling and weighing thoughts in my head that this whole frustration has brought me.

I am still thinking how to move my things from my boarding house for 5 years. You know what I realized that it has been where I lived for five years! I accumulated more stuff that now I would need to decide whether to keep or dispose.

When I got to Naga I think I would need to buy a sack to put my things that need to be discarded.