Of Conscience and Genuine Happiness

Doing things contrary to what the conscience tells one to do make him feel unhappy. All this time I keep on whining with my tribulations, particularly as regards to my studies. But I now realize that if I just follow what my conscience tells me is the right thing to do, failing grades is less probable to exist. I just thought how I just browse the internet and watch TV series made me less of a studious person that I was before. Deep inside I know that I must be studying. 

 

But I keep on putting pleasure over business first. So I started to become very frustrated getting very low grades than usual. Now I started to think that if I was just courageous enough to have followed the best thing to do, which is to study, I couldn’t have been thinking of shifting and be thinking of many other ways that I could be happy even not being CPA. I started to hate every day that I go to school. And that one may imagine is one of the worst feeling ever. But I did anyway. I went to school and attended my classes.

 

 I see now that the conscience is really made to be one of our faculties to direct us. Like the northern star, it tells us where to go. Straying otherwise would make us feel lost and unhappy. In the same light, the conscience needs to be formed, to be educated. It can also err. But all the same it must be followed. It is inviolable. With this I thought of those traditional politicians. I thought that maybe, because they have done corruption for a long time now, the sense of guilt is desensitized. That is, I believe the conscience be preserved and honed. And this could happen if we reflect over things and be in touched with ourselves. We must be open-minded, sensitive and receptive to learning. Setting aside conscience make us less of a human who is authentic. It makes us deviate from our very good nature. It makes less and less able to truly love. I don’t want my guilt be just a fleeting thing. 

 

For a time I thought attributing almost everything to God is lame. It makes us feel less powerful and less in control of our own lives. It kills our freedom. But now I am starting to believe again. God, or at least his teachings are made for us to be happy, for us to achieve our potentials to be good, if not the best. I just am wearing the wrong lens in viewing the things theology is presenting to me. As said, theology requires us to think beyond our own capabilities. And I guess I just might be starting to learn as to how. I believe being one with God is more humanizing than dehumanizing. Just as conscience makes us feel genuinely happy and more free.