Conscience is the moral faculty of man which is meant to aid us in our decision making processes. It is like an inner-built northern star which guides us to the right direction; that is, to do what is good and to avoid what is evil. For this the Church posits that conscience is inviolable despite its tendency to err sometimes. This proposition goes with the assumption that before we opt to do a certain act, we have taken time mulling over its goodness or wrongness. Hence, conscience is the final arbiter, Imperfect as we are, conscience likewise is far from perfect. That is why there is a great necessity for it to be formed and honed.

Through our own mistakes, we learn. When we are in a tribulation as consequence of our own doing, there is no one to blame except for ourselves. We develop a sense of responsibility and accountability. We mature. Perhaps, this is the reason why the Church advises us to follow our conscience all the time even its imperfect nature, for us to mature and be more orientated towards the good nature that we are created to be.

Fundamental option is the mind-set that all decisions must always be towards the deepening of one’s relationship with God. Hence, every act must be an active response to God’s calling of love and justice. This is very vital to living a moral life for it makes one in tune to his good nature. That is, if morality can be defined as the standard that can be leaned into when judging one’s acts as good or evil, and one’s deeds are geared towards the intimacy with God who is the source of all goodness in the world, then he would probably would be living a moral life.

Authentic freedom is not one’s ability to do what he desires to do without limitations. Rather, it is knowing his limitations and doing things along the confines of them. 

 

 

 

It is almost always very difficult to go against the current. The society today apparently does not just tolerate hedonism, secularism and consumerism. It seems to attach one’s worth to material possessions and superficial matters. That is we are on a materialistic generation. Anyone who is not in sync with this trend will one way or another be bullied, discriminated and sanctioned. Who would want to feel that? Moreover people nowadays feed their worldly appetitive souls and disregard their spiritual and moral needs. We are very in touch with earthly and instant pleasures that we miss out the transformative learnings brought about by delaying gratifications. This is why it is very hard to be morally upright in this contemporary time. The spirit may be willing but the flesh is weak.

Of Sin

Sins are forgivable, at least by God. So I guess this is why people are committing sin again and again. But what would want us to almost always avoid committing sins is the remorse that comes afterwards. One does not need to have this very strong faith in God and keen awareness of the teachings of the Church to know that he has sinned. With this I kind of agree with the idea that sin is related to guilt. What struck me is the practicality of the idea. If one does not desire to feel this profound discomfort brought about sanctions imposed by the society, be it by the law of the lands or by just isolation, then do good, avoid sin. 

 

But sin is, in its nature is really of theology. It is by default related to God, so I guess we have to have at least an inkling as to what He is promulgating as good so as to avoid evil. And I am finding it hard to make this essay longer. I guess I already made my point clear. Most of the times I just follow what my gut tells me. This is not always bad, by the way. I would like to believe that I am in my own way morally upright man. I try to do what is good. I try not to hurt people or inflict discomfort to myself. So what I am saying is, I am not constantly asking myself “Is this what would God want me to do?” every single time I decide on doing something. I do things as they naturally go. But of course the major decisions need more reflection. In those times I consciously ask for God’s grace of discernment. 

 

Sins are just there. It is part of us being limited human beings; but, the idea of it is not the center of our all. We are ambivalent they say. We have dark and bright potentialities. But I believe we have the power to choose what to focus on as the core of our being. I choose to think that I am more capable of doing what is good than committing sin. Hence it is all in the perspective. Positive disposition would yield positive traits and deeds. 

 

Yes it’s good that we are introduced to the idea of sin. Let us not just concentrate on how sinful we are. Moreover, I really appreciate the effort of this subject matter to somehow bring us more to that place where we are to think that there is something there, a powerful being that is all good and loving. The effort is so willful sometimes I describe it as presumptuous. Not everyone is that in touched to their personal Gods to actually be that faithful, and that the idea of sin would make them want to be the perfect faithful there is the whole wide world.

 

Looking on the silver lining, I truly found it empowering to not just be following the teachings of the supposed authority as regards to this matter blindly. In a very enriching way, we are being enlightened as to the practicality of it. That abstaining from sin is actually for our own peace of mind and happiness, the authentic kinds. For the nth time I feel so privileged to be having the opportunity to be educated in this kind of way.

Of Conscience and Genuine Happiness

Doing things contrary to what the conscience tells one to do make him feel unhappy. All this time I keep on whining with my tribulations, particularly as regards to my studies. But I now realize that if I just follow what my conscience tells me is the right thing to do, failing grades is less probable to exist. I just thought how I just browse the internet and watch TV series made me less of a studious person that I was before. Deep inside I know that I must be studying. 

 

But I keep on putting pleasure over business first. So I started to become very frustrated getting very low grades than usual. Now I started to think that if I was just courageous enough to have followed the best thing to do, which is to study, I couldn’t have been thinking of shifting and be thinking of many other ways that I could be happy even not being CPA. I started to hate every day that I go to school. And that one may imagine is one of the worst feeling ever. But I did anyway. I went to school and attended my classes.

 

 I see now that the conscience is really made to be one of our faculties to direct us. Like the northern star, it tells us where to go. Straying otherwise would make us feel lost and unhappy. In the same light, the conscience needs to be formed, to be educated. It can also err. But all the same it must be followed. It is inviolable. With this I thought of those traditional politicians. I thought that maybe, because they have done corruption for a long time now, the sense of guilt is desensitized. That is, I believe the conscience be preserved and honed. And this could happen if we reflect over things and be in touched with ourselves. We must be open-minded, sensitive and receptive to learning. Setting aside conscience make us less of a human who is authentic. It makes us deviate from our very good nature. It makes less and less able to truly love. I don’t want my guilt be just a fleeting thing. 

 

For a time I thought attributing almost everything to God is lame. It makes us feel less powerful and less in control of our own lives. It kills our freedom. But now I am starting to believe again. God, or at least his teachings are made for us to be happy, for us to achieve our potentials to be good, if not the best. I just am wearing the wrong lens in viewing the things theology is presenting to me. As said, theology requires us to think beyond our own capabilities. And I guess I just might be starting to learn as to how. I believe being one with God is more humanizing than dehumanizing. Just as conscience makes us feel genuinely happy and more free.

Of God's Unconditional Love, Of Mysteries and Of Revelations

God’s love is unconditional. And that kind of love is something that I don’t deserve. I guess this is why it’s called a gift. I didn’t work for it. It is given by means of magnanimity without me asking. It’s a grace. I feel guilty that I take this gift for granted. One can even describe me as ungrateful. For one, I started to use my intellect to think that God is just a being created by man to channel their limitations. But is it not? I believe I am just on the process of understanding more this faith. Hopefully after this phase, my faith would be more founded and strong. Just like our bodies need to be exposed with viruses and germs for it to learn to adapt to it, for its immune system to be boosted, I think this phase is healthy. Perhaps, it is but right for me to admit that I am sick, my soul is sick. With God’s grace, I ask to be healed. 

 

The Parable of the Prodigal Son conveys the promise that when I actually come back, my faith renewed and restored, I would be welcomed with a warm embrace. Moreover, I was really struck how the said parable can ring true in my experiences. I am not the perfect child to my parents, a perfect friend and definitely not an ideal student to my teachers. But despite my flaws and weaknesses, some of the people around me just continue to believe in my capabilities and don’t cease on making me feel secured. Most of the times, it makes me want to change for the better. 

 

Maybe this is just one of God’s revelations to me. This is God manifesting how unconditional His love is - in a way that I could understand. This is God unfolding the many mysteries that his identity has. I once read from a magazine how one must not tell everything on a first date. One should let the other unravel the mystery. In this way, thrill and excitement is guaranteed. Everyone would agree that these two things are needed to have a happy relationship. There is boredom in knowing, in being predictable. Maybe God also applies this to-do’s in dating, in keeping our relationship with Him thrilling and exciting. He wants us to pursue him more, to know him more in an active search and a conscious discovery. While on the process, we also grow with our moral beliefs and values. Getting more acquainted with Him would let us be enlightened whether our actions are in accordance to his holy will. Thus, we become instruments of His unconditional love.

Moral Philosophy Versus Moral Theology: Plus, Fifty Shades of Grey

“By giving up control, I felt free – free from responsibility, from making decisions. I felt safe.” This is the part where Christian Grey is persuading Ana Steele to be his submissive, him being the dominant. I caught myself wishing that I could also have an offer like that. Being who I am now, almost unsupervised by anyone who has the moral obligation to guide me, I am, to be honest, exhausted. I feel tired of the responsibility over myself. I am sick of the confusion, of the questions of whether I am doing right or wrong. I am fed up with looking after myself, of making decisions and dealing with bad consequences. I want to be free. I want someone to enlighten me when I’m on a dark phase of a dilemma. I want someone to fall back into when I seriously fail or is feeling down. 

 

With this I realize that this kind of freedom, of living on one’s own terms, is not healthy, at least for a young adult like me. I am not ready, yet. (Will I ever be ready?) Putting this more into the context, I believe one of the main points where moral theology and moral philosophy deviate is its source of truth and of what is good. It’s human freedom versus God’s law. Moral philosophy is liberating in the sense that one could dictate as to what’s right or wrong. It’s subjective indeed. Maybe I am just a weakling, or just can’t handle my current situation, but I get to appreciate moral theology and its premise. It attributes the truth to the revelations of what is called God rather than to one’s experience and human reasoning alone. Somehow this powerful Being is the dominant, the one who is in control. We people are supposed to be the “submissives”, the ones who conform to the rules and standards set by him. In return, we are rewarded with consolation and burden that is light. 

 

Beyond all of this, I find myself not caring. I have been damaged so much I don’t have the ability to trust myself and any other unseen being. When the dawn breaks, I have to wake up knowing that no one will take responsibility over me, no one is there to adequately provide for my needs, no one is there to do anything for me. I am alone. Day by day, I am just getting by. I am afloat yes, not anchored to anything except to the idea that I need to survive. 

 

That is, in some point, this kind of discourse is superfluous. We get to survive even without knowing what’s what. But don’t get me wrong. I still pray and will never commit suicide. And I am thankful that I get to be in touched with this higher and more profound subject. As said, an unexamined life is not worth living. I believe this is just an opportunity for my beliefs to be tested. I am hoping to pass.