Chain Reactions: A Reflection on my Community Outreach Program Experience

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There were ten apples and five persons. One out of the five persons got eight apples, leaving only two for the remaining four to eke out. Later, the one who got eight apples found out that five of the apples are already rotting. Needless to say, the apples were wasted, and have not been put to their proper use.

The story above is what I have recalled during the Basic Orientation Seminar. I got this very meaningful story from my high school Economics teacher. It may have been several years already but it stayed with me. Unequal distribution of resources in this world is an undeniable truth. Majority of the portions of these resources are in the hands of the rich ones. Sadly, majority of it is not utilized as well. That is, the fewest of the few have more than they need, while the residual majority is scraping and sharing the little that is left. It is such an unfair situation. Given the chance to have a super power that could change the world, I will definitely focus on this issue.

Then the chance came, but on a different scope and level. I went to Punta Tarawal to clean shores. It was indeed a very enriching experience. As I picked different kinds of garbage, I found myself imagining the story behind each of them. Thoughts of, “maybe the owner has accidentally dropped this shoe in the ocean and he was very upset after” or “maybe this trash came from a ship that sank many years ago” or “maybe this one came from Alaska” or “maybe this one was thrown deliberately to the ocean.” It was entertaining in a way. But my last assumption made me very sad, if not annoyed. Here I am picking other peoples’ trash when I’m not even throwing anything at the ocean or elsewhere except the garbage bins. 

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That is when I realized that what I do or what I will do has ripple effects. Be it a good one, say proper waste disposal; or, a bad one, say throwing garbage in the ocean. Ultimately, it would still feel good and right if the chain reaction is positively leading to another. So, I must ideally always choose to do the good one, and not choose to do those that would be on the expense of others.

Perhaps I am very fortunate to have been oriented with this kind of thinking. Spending college years in the Ateneo has made me realize things that are of value, not just for me but for others as well. I honestly do not have regrets as to my involvement with community development and outreaches. I believe I have had my fair share of them. But what I wish I had more is exposure to the ills of the society particularly of poverty, be it through seminars, talks and even through immersions. I mean, I wish I had been more participative with the ones being made available by the different formation offices of the university. I hope I could be more knowledgeable with this kind of stuff. As they say, being informed is the first step to being transformed.

Now as I’m near to leaving the confines of the university, I would definitely be carrying with me the thrust, “Men and Women for and with Others.” I am an aspiring Certifying Public Accountant and am intending to practice my profession as an Auditor. By means of that, I could be an agent of correct statement of taxable income. Consequently, the government could collect the right revenue that is due. Hopefully, they may use this revenue to for the development of social services that the constituents deserve. Hence, it’s their turn to play their roles in continuing on the positive chain reaction. No one can change the world alone.

Reasons Why He Opted to Lie Low

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Each one of us is the manager of his own life. As a business student myself, I have learned that a good manager must be effective and efficient. He is said to be effective when all his decisions are in coherence to his set goals. Likewise, he is efficient when he can maximize his resources, by minimizing costs to get to what he wants to achieve. I believe staying as a member of organization is not in line with me being an effective and efficient manager of my own life. This is one of the two main reasons why I have decided to lay low my involvement with the group. The other is on the fifth paragraph. So please continue on.

This may sound a bit blunt, but as I tried to visit the office on first few weeks of the academic year, I kind of felt slightly unwelcomed. I mean, I was waiting for someone to invite me to renew, or give me the renewal form at least and say, ”Hey, you should renew your membership.” No one did. It’s worthy to note that I already thought that staying is not really wise of me to easily get to my goal, which is to graduate this academic year. Objectively saying, being a member will not improve my study habits, will not help me excel in my academics, and definitely will not pay my tuition fees if I lose my scholarship by not having to finish my course on time. This idea was also reinforced when our college’s Dean talked to me with regard to the subjects that I have to take this first semester (very long story) and made me agree to the condition of exerting due diligence on my part as student and lessening, if not doing away with my extra co-curricular activities. Hence, I was hoping that feeling these people's enthusiasm to still want me around would somehow change my mind a bit. I was trying to hold on to the group, knowing that for four years I have been with it and thus established already a relationship and bond, and thus at least because of that I can actually stay. But the circumstances tell me that I can’t have that motivation.

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Having my four-year stay mentioned, given the common four-year college programs, most, if not all of my closest friends in the organization have already graduated. Even the Chaplain is different now. The atmosphere changed a lot. I do not mean it in a negative way. It’s not just the one that I was used to and I don’t have the luxury of time to adjust. 

Moreover, on my fourth year as a member, I was actually the President of the organization. And not to brag, I was a bit of a legend. Laughs… It is under my leadership that the group had its very first St. Ignatius of Loyola statuette, being one of the recognized top performing organizations in the university. I even helmed the group to be on an accredited status. Now that there is a new President, I felt honestly uncomfortable. I know he does too. I am not sure but I think it’s a "predecessor-successor" thing. So I opted to not hang around for a while. Let him be the leader that he is meant to be without any pressure and awkwardness. I know that he will be great.

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The award that the organization got is essentially for its exemplary performance as a spiritual organization, giving activities that form its members’ spiritual lives and all. This really made me tap myself in the back for I feel like I’ve really been an effective instrument in the realization of the group’s vision and reason of existence; which, in point of fact, is to provide holistic formation to students through Church service. This necessarily entails congregating student volunteers to facilitate the community’s worship. That having said, I feel like I can’t do the “facilitating of worship” thing because recently, I feel a disconnect between myself and my God during masses. In truth, it’s been for a long time now. Every mass is now just a series of portions that I must correctly respond to. The worship is reduced to just a job. That is, I felt like a hypocrite every time that I go serve at the mass. But I still pray. I just gotten to believe on silent religiosity I think. I feel like I’m doing fine praying by myself. No need to go to mass. No need to help others have a quality time with their personal Gods during masses. I lost the right to do so when I have not been having a quality experience myself.

And perhaps because of me realizing that I don’t need to stick with people that I don’t like, I just gave myself the privilege to stay away with some of the people who don’t meet my standards as likable. (Sometimes, I honestly didn’t like how issues on the office and organization were handled. But it’s a totally different issue. Maybe I just have a different take on things and have just grown to actually have my own stance over areas of concern. Some people just integrated themselves much to their work that they get oblivious to the fact that it’s still a job. I guess for them it has gotten more personal. Or just maybe, at times I just felt used, manipulated, and my talents exploited.) Don’t get me wrong. There are really nice people in the group. There are just a small percentage of not so nice people existing there. I don’t like dramas. My life is overly dramatic by itself already.

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These are the reasons why I wilfully decided to mark down my connection with the organization. I don’t know if I just gave up on thinking of reasons to keep on or there’s just no heavy an argument for me to. All factors seem to lead on to ceasing to hang around. But as I distance myself, I know it will always be a home for me. It’s just time to move on. I feel like it’s just the right time to do so. What I am saying is that I think I already have taken the things that I am supposed to take from being its member – friends, life lessons, and moments to keep for a lifetime. In the same way, the organization has already taken all that it can from me. This break up is mutual. It’s time to explore new horizons. It’s high time to focus on what my life would be in the future. Damn, most of my friends are already licensed professionals and are living their chosen careers. It’s time to graduate from BS Org and actually graduate with the degree of BS Accountancy.

Conscience is the moral faculty of man which is meant to aid us in our decision making processes. It is like an inner-built northern star which guides us to the right direction; that is, to do what is good and to avoid what is evil. For this the Church posits that conscience is inviolable despite its tendency to err sometimes. This proposition goes with the assumption that before we opt to do a certain act, we have taken time mulling over its goodness or wrongness. Hence, conscience is the final arbiter, Imperfect as we are, conscience likewise is far from perfect. That is why there is a great necessity for it to be formed and honed.

Through our own mistakes, we learn. When we are in a tribulation as consequence of our own doing, there is no one to blame except for ourselves. We develop a sense of responsibility and accountability. We mature. Perhaps, this is the reason why the Church advises us to follow our conscience all the time even its imperfect nature, for us to mature and be more orientated towards the good nature that we are created to be.