Brian & Justin ~ I finally do ~ Merry Christmas 2010

Youtube indeed is like Narnia. One can discover many things. While searching something I have seen this hyperlink. Watching this makes one realize that gay romance can be as romantic as with those labelled as "normal" ones ( here in the Philippines). I felt love transcending and overflowing. I pray that everyone be open-minded enough to accept the diversity of people manifested by this.

"Emo" Who?

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Back then, I despise those people who call themselves as 'emo'. But right now, perhaps because I have already grown up and become more mature as to have open-minded perceptions regarding thoughts and ideas, I somehow scolded myself for doing that.

I am a person who wants to express my identity - just like them. You see, being an 'emo' is a way of life. Hence, it goes synonymously together with people being vegetarian, being a monk, among other kinds of peculiar lifestyles.

By that general classification comes the very specific way of how this emotional people groom themselves. Their closet mostly includes tighter fitting pants and very dark colored shirts. Their hair are dyed-black and most of the time grown long enough to cover their faces. The longer hair in front with the spikes in the back is also an Emo- or emotional look or perhaps their identifying mark . Emo is also being known with tow hot emo guys and two emo girls kissing each other. From pictures all on the web to the music videos. Hot emo girl to girl and well as hot emo guy to guy is becoming more and more adventurous and more open concluding; Emo meaning being comfortable with oneself. Its a more direct way of altering the feelings one has without words, just emotion.

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Also they are labeled as persons who are always suicidal as to cut their wrists with blades. Yet, not all emos are like that, I am sure. Most importantly to take note is that basically the word "emo" short for emotional has its foundation on the genre of music which elicits strong emotion through music close enough to punk and rock but not hard rock.

Indeed, it surpassed being a genre of music itself. It is now a way of life, a way of expressing one's self, a way to freedom, to happiness, to individuality. It's a state of mind such as love.

Sometimes I wish I could be like them. First, because I want to also kiss boys without being stereotyped and all. Second, I want to be who I am without all the pressures brought about by rigorously following the norms and standards of the society. I just feel that being what they are will make me a very happy person. I don't know if this thought will be of reality, yet one thing is sure, I respect them for we share a code. We want self-expression with freedom and respect.

An Accidental Look-back

It's never too late ,right? I just checked out my drafts and found this. I don't know what happened but somehow I didn't publish this one the time I wrote this. Well right now some of them has been solved and gone together with time. I have grown up. I'm already in college. I have a better perception on what and who I am. My Mama already had her permanent vacation in the most beautiful place ever created. I have been given the Leadership Award for my exemplary performance as a student leader. I just do not want to let this be set aside. This is part of who I am. Someday, I will look back to this and realize how years fly very fast, how my worries and anxieties arose given my particular lifecycle stage, and how I learned from them. Life is wonderful. Here, the post goes.

There are things that really bother my mind. Horrible things that keep whirling in my mind. Things that prevents me to smile.Things that that creates a barrier between me and happiness. Here they are, please comprehend them and genuinely understand my condition as I siphon them out of my anxious and weary mind. Just a simple request, please keep this a secret , don't tell anyone.Respect me as an owner of this account.

1. I really find it awkward when one asks me if I'm gay. I dont know. I can't give them an answer. Even I,myself am confused.Please don't ask me ok? It makes me more confused.

 2.My mom's condition.She's just getting worse.

3. My future.I'm kinda pressured now about the career I have to choose as a living, what school to attend in my college.

4. How to satisfy my fellow Bridgetines with my job as their  the Student Council Chairperson.I wish my colleagues and moderator help me. Well,Sir Sharik helps me a lot. He's a person to look up to.

5.How to balance my life as a student and a son. There's just many things to accomplish with both of the two.

I wish I can solve them. But as they said take one step at a time. I hope answers will come over me.I hope I could be strong and courageous .I wish I can be faithful to God and believe in him with all my heart. One thing's for sure, I'll try with all my might to overcome them!