An Accidental Look-back

It's never too late ,right? I just checked out my drafts and found this. I don't know what happened but somehow I didn't publish this one the time I wrote this. Well right now some of them has been solved and gone together with time. I have grown up. I'm already in college. I have a better perception on what and who I am. My Mama already had her permanent vacation in the most beautiful place ever created. I have been given the Leadership Award for my exemplary performance as a student leader. I just do not want to let this be set aside. This is part of who I am. Someday, I will look back to this and realize how years fly very fast, how my worries and anxieties arose given my particular lifecycle stage, and how I learned from them. Life is wonderful. Here, the post goes.

There are things that really bother my mind. Horrible things that keep whirling in my mind. Things that prevents me to smile.Things that that creates a barrier between me and happiness. Here they are, please comprehend them and genuinely understand my condition as I siphon them out of my anxious and weary mind. Just a simple request, please keep this a secret , don't tell anyone.Respect me as an owner of this account.

1. I really find it awkward when one asks me if I'm gay. I dont know. I can't give them an answer. Even I,myself am confused.Please don't ask me ok? It makes me more confused.

 2.My mom's condition.She's just getting worse.

3. My future.I'm kinda pressured now about the career I have to choose as a living, what school to attend in my college.

4. How to satisfy my fellow Bridgetines with my job as their  the Student Council Chairperson.I wish my colleagues and moderator help me. Well,Sir Sharik helps me a lot. He's a person to look up to.

5.How to balance my life as a student and a son. There's just many things to accomplish with both of the two.

I wish I can solve them. But as they said take one step at a time. I hope answers will come over me.I hope I could be strong and courageous .I wish I can be faithful to God and believe in him with all my heart. One thing's for sure, I'll try with all my might to overcome them!

The Last Song, Miley and Liam

I just watched The Last Song, again. I watched it several times already yet it never fails to let me drift away and yearn for the euphoric sensation to never end. I wish I could be stuck in the moment. I just felt so elated. Also because of I felt inspired and motivated. And it's really a good thing for right now, I am like a wheel without a driver. 

Movies like this are wonderful. Maybe it's the story. It's a creation of one of the best authors in the world after all, Nicholas Sparks. I super duper love his novels. Perhaps maybe it's because of Miley Cyrus. Golly, I think I am falling for her! Haha =). She's just so convincing. She played the role very well and shattered the general view of her as this child superstar who has the best of both worlds. It's not that it's a bad thing. Well, she will forever be Hannah Montana for many of us. She is already an icon. 

Right now, I am thankful that I have downloaded some of her songs. I am listening to it over and over again after I watched the movie. Like I have said, I do not want for the feeling to end and it's one of the ways that I did to achieve that. 

Maybe it's also because of the gorgeous Liam Hemsworth who just turned 22 last January 13. He was just this ideal guy who stayed and understood with empathy the girl that he loved in down times. To add, he has this pair of sparkling eyes on which you could see the world and realize how wonderful it is. Maybe it's their chemistry. Their kisses are noteworthy to pay attention with. No wonder they have won the Nickelodeon Australian Kids' Choice Awards 2010 Kids Choice: Fave Kiss. And it.s not just that ! They have been also nominated for Teen Choice Awards ,Choice Movie: Chemistry. 

Maybe it's her brother who was played by Bobby Coleman. I definitely am carried away when the time that he learned about her father's condition. We shared a link perhaps. I remember my Mama and the fact that it's really hard to lose her and even harder to say goodbye. Cheers to him. Maybe it's her father played by Greg Kinnear. Maybe it's the beach. Maybe its the whole cinematography. Well, it's all of the above!

I am not able to read the book yet but I swear to God that I would someday. Every word would be cherished. As for the movie, it's part of my life now. Someday I'll look back and say that was one a heck of a movie!

Request to Nicholas Sparks: Please let there be a sequel!

This song is one of the theme songs of the movie. It was played the very last and so for that I have gotten the Last Song Syndrome. This one is entitled "I Hope You Find It" performed by no other than Miley Cyrus. I love the way she sang it. It's full of emotion and the lyrics are that simple yet because of that it's an effective way to convey the innermost feelings.

One thing, their love team is called "Miam". I'll be a Miam fan forever!

Procrastination: An Enemy or A Friend?

I always thought that I am a very organized person. You see, I've imbibed making these "To Do List" and Schedules of my activities. Yet right now, I do not know if I am still what I thought I am. I am just this college student who has a scholarship to maintain and many schoolworks to accomplish.I am a typical student and a son wanting to make honor for myself and my family I may say. But, at this moment, I realize that it's arduous and tiring also to be like this"goody-goody" type of person. I just am bothered by my frequent procrastinating. I delay doing things no matter how important it is and wait for the time that I would cram because it is super on due. To add on this madness, I am looking forward for wonders to just happen and that they might turn out well despite of my unpreparedness and fore neglect. Wonders never cease after all.

Perhaps, I am really amazed on how great the outcomes are. There are times when I get nearly perfect scores on my quizzes given the fact that I already read the long chapter for almost fifteen minutes. Asking why the instance happened? Well its just because I surfed the net the whole night fully aware of that quiz that is to be given.

I know these sheer luck won't keep up on me for sure. I desperately need help.

On the bright side, I deem it is really not a must to do things right away. People also need time for their initial ideas to germinate into more awesome ones. As much as they say, growth and development is a gradual process. Rushing may lead for other integral stages that must be undergone to be set aside and thus evolution is not optimized. To add, I've learned that the greatest writers are awful procrastinators! whaha..

Now what to do?

They say that one needs to be organized. Am I? Yeah I think so. Maybe I just do not prioritize well. Indeed. I put pleasure over business and not business over pleasure. Additionally, they say that one must identify the reason of their procrastinating. And I think that's it. I can be considered as a hedonist now. I live on wordly deeds. Life is about enjoyment! Who wants to be facing the books frowning? Yet, I must also face it. If I continue on this, worse things could happen. For one my grades could flunk and my general morale and personality to rust out. Also I could lose my scholarship. That means, losing great opportunities.Perhaps, strong and firm stance on things, self-discipline and self-control are the things that I need.

I am fully aware of these dire consequences . It just needs to be engraved in my mind and heart. God, please help me.

On POVERTY in the Philippines

I just came from my Formation class. It's a unique subject here in my dearest Ateneo and yes, from the name of the subject itself, we students are being honed and formed to be good and God-fearing citizens of the Philippines. Hence, as our school promotes, we must be men and women for others. On our meeting today we have discussed poverty.

Well, it's not that mysterious and a baffling subject for most of us. Poverty is apparent and prevalent. anywhere one goes, his eyes will never fail to notice street children and street adults who are begging for money, food and for compassion and understanding. One can even see families in parks sleeping together not because they are on a picnic but for the reason that they don't have even  a land where they can put up their walls and a roof for a shade aside from the services given freely by trees and the public park.This is really really sad. Notably, they thrive on establishments where the rich people go such as shopping malls, banks restaurants among others where only those with affluence of money could go.

But, what to do? It's not. their fault to be in situations like that for sure.

Sometimes, it is really inevitable for me to think of not helping them and just ignore them. You see, they must also work  and not wait for the bayabas to fall just like Juan Tamad have once done. It would just create more problems of sloth and negative complacency of those marginalized people in the society. Hence, they would be the biggest kind kind of parasites if we continuously spoon them with their needs. What happened to Filipinos being branded as "masipag" and "matatag". Where's now the attribute named "self-reliance"? Nothing would change if the poor themselves do not work for their own good and not ask for alms all the time.

On the other hand, Filipinos are known for the " Bayanihan". We help each other in times of need and distress.But please, let's help ourselves first and fill up the different kinds of poverty that we are facing. To those crocodiles out there, contemplate and remember what your purpose out there. You are not there for fame, nor for wealth. You are there because we have put our trust in you to manage our general resources efficiently and effectively for the good of all. For development. For prosperity. For a comfortable life. Perhaps, those individuals who innately have hopes are now hopeless because of prevalent corruption, of self-interest. Let JUSTICE reign. Let the people get what's due to them.